Parents and Preteens Aren’t Too Smiley About Miley

miley_vanityfair.jpgIt may be ‘vanity’ but it’s certainly not ‘fair.’ I’m speaking of course about the controversial Miley Cyrus cover story that put the reining queen of preteen wannabes in ‘whoa, nelly’ mode, looking sultry in an artsy Annie Leibowitz pose on Vanity Fair’s latest issue.

Dang, I’m going to have to revamp my Preteen Alliance presentation AGAIN for this Thursday, because my subject is about giving folks tips and tactics for dealing with media messaging that lands on kids sideways. (body image, junk food, early sexualization and behavioral cues from plastic surgery to online digital fare)

One side of me says I’d be remiss if I didn’t address the Miley media flap, since it’s clearly a ‘preteen’ role model issue, and the event is hosted by Kaiser Permanente and the Lucile Packard Children’s Health Foundation’s Preteen Alliance (great data, if you’re unfamiliar with their site) called “The Care and Feeding of Preteens: Helping Them Develop Healthful Habits and a Positive Self-Image.”

On the other hand, I really liked Jamie Lee Curtis’ take on it by putting it in context amidst “the world food shortage and Korean defectors attempting self immolation in protest of Beijing” as gleaning an astonishing amount of media coverage. Curtis didn’t minimalize with a ‘been there done that’ yawn, nor quell the accusational hysteria as much as take a media literacy analysis of how these ‘scandals’ damage everyone in the blast zone. (including Hannah Montana fans and Disney darlings even younger than 8-12, I presume)

preteen-alliance.gifFor my purpose, to contribute to the Preteen Alliance resources, I’m going to have to scramble to get up to speed on the media/Miley surround sound pronto, for it will no doubt be fresh fodder for the educators, service providers, and parents attending the event seeking take-home tips and turnkey solutions to how to counter-market the visual snapshots that linger in the tween scene, body-snatching them into an adult world, as I’ve often said before.

We can’t do the ostrich in the sand routine hoping sensationalism will silence, because it subverts the bigger issue of how pop culture is ‘Shaping Youth’ and the influence of same.

After all, that’s what this blog is about, n’est ce pas? So know that my post on the greening of tween virtual worlds and green teen media is forthcoming…

kmalogo.jpgFor now I’ll leave you in the good hands of Shaping Youth’s own body image expert, Dr. Robyn Silverman to take over today (and perhaps even tomorrow!) to discuss this further while I re-formulate my talk a tad.

I think I need to address some of these latest zingers in my media literacy junk food Animoto on combatting spin with healthier messages…

By the way, Nancy Gruver et al are discussing the Miley magazine misstep over on the New Moon Girls Media Maven blog too, and though none of it surprises me, it does astound me that the prevalence is so pervasive…

Age compression tactics of marketing pros are dialing down the demographics and Packaging Girlhood in droves. (I’d love to hear from Dr. Sharon Lamb and Dr. Lyn Mikel Brown on the Miley bit too…)

I know at one point I wrote, ‘what’s next, thongs for babies?’ but frankly, in a media culture that has countdowns for teen star deflowering on sites like Jailbait Wait about Celebrity’s 18th Birthdays, I don’t want to give the pop culture profiteers any torrid ideas.

Miley Cyrus: Role Model Ruined?

By Dr. Robyn Silverman Shaping Youth Correspondent

drrobyn_profile3.jpgWhen 15 year old, Miley Cyrus showed up topless and coyly wrapped in what appears to be a satin bedsheet in the June issue of Vanity Fair, controversy broke out and opinions multiplied.

It wasn’t so much about what was showing or whether or not the Annie Leibovitz photo could be considered art. But rather, it was the mature spirit of the photograph juxtaposed with the immature fan-base the tween icon who worships her every move.

Disney, the parent company of the billion dollar Hannah Montana franchise aimed at tweens is reeling, Miley voiced embarrassment and apologies, and her spokesperson claimed manipulation. But the ones who are extremely concerned are the parents of young girls who look up to Miley as a role model.

Given that young girls like to dress up and act like their favorite stars, parents should be on alert. Developmentally speaking, tweens experiment. They’re trying on different identities and figuring out which ones feel right. In working out who they are, they copy those who they admire. So when teen singer, Avril Lavigne, wore a sleeveless T-shirt with a tie, girls showed up to school the next day having raided their Dad’s closet.

Given Miley’s recent misjudgment (or perhaps the misstep of her parents, publicist, photographer, or host magazine?) no parent should be surprised if today’s tweens drop their favorite outfits and show up to playtime loosely wrapped in their Beauty and the Beast bedsheets as their best friend takes their best shot.

Where did all the role models go?

What makes up a tween/teen role model has changed dramatically over the last several decades. Kids used to look to public figures like Dr. Martin Luther King, President John F. Kennedy, or the squeaky clean Brady Bunch and Partridge Family for their inspiration. Then media took over. Everyone starlet seems to be growing up too soon, tying one on, or taking something off. Parents are contending with the likes of Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, and Eminem. The latter, who even quips in his lyrics;

I came to the club drunk with a fake ID
Don’t you wanna grow up to be just like me!
I’ve been with 10 women who got HIV
Now don’t you wanna grow up to be just like me!
I got genital warts and it burns when I pee
Don’t you wanna grow up to be just like me!

Teens and tweens are saturated with a large does of media garbage. The average American child spends 4-4 ½ hours a day exposed to TV, radio, video games, or the Internet. That means they’re spending the equivalent of a good part time job with questionable mentors.

Why it’s hard to trust:

We loved Lindsay Lohan as a freckle-faced charmer in Parent Trap. Britney Speaks was adorable in the Mickey Mouse Club. Barry Bonds had every boy’s heart in his hand as he got ready to break Hank Aaron’s all-time home run record. What happened to our kids’ role models? Either drugs, alcohol, DUIs, sex tapes, rehab, jail-time, psych wards, exposed body parts or a combination of a bunch of the above.

Parents and tweens are always selecting role models that seem wholesome, pure, and promising. We are seeking out people who exemplify the values we believe are important; respect, self-discipline, gratitude, and other powerful words by which we try to live. But the public is getting burned. It wouldn’t be surprising if parents are becoming suspicious and jaded. I think one parent said it best after a Hillary Duff concert;

“We thought she seemed really nice,” said Debbie Wright of Lexington. Wright had brought her two daughters, ages 9 and 13, to the show and waited for them on a couch in the parents lounge. She added, “Of course, we thought that of Britney Spears.”

When it comes to racy role model, Danica Patrick and her controversial decisions to expose (or overexpose?) herself or Kim Kardashian decides to pose for playboy, we know that, whether we think it’s a good decision or a bad one, and adult made the decision. It may make parents angry, but somehow, it’s different. These adults are allowed to do dumb things.

But tween role models aren’t allowed the same amount of space for slip-ups. Parents and tweens are watching their every move. They’re under 24/7 surveillance. They’re overexposed through TV, magazines, internet, texting, and every other media outlet that tells all. Miley’s Vanity Fair photos might only reveal her back, but parents see a Little Lolita. It may not be warranted. It may not even be fair. But they begin to wonder if it’s only the beginning of a series of bad judgments from the Hannah Montana star. After all, this is what they’ve gotten used to with the celebs who’ve come before her.

We know tweens and teens grow up. Celebrities grow up. But when our kids are copying their favorite star, parents are looking for consistency. Reliability. One hundred percent wholesome character. Anything else and the balance gets knocked around. The children have a few choices with regard to how to internalize the information:

(1) Go with the flow: Copy what their favorite role model is doing for good or bad. “What’s the big deal, Mom? Miley’s doing it…it must be cool, awesome, special, hot, daring…”

(2) Go against the flow: A harder endeavor. Make their role model the anti-role model and say “ta-ta” to their idol who deceived or disappointed them. “I never liked her anyway. Who does that? It’s so stupid, gross, dumb, raunchy…”

(3) Go into denial: Say it didn’t happen or it didn’t happen that way and keep on going in the same direction they always went, not changing a thing. “She was forced, tricked, pressured…she’d never do that if she knew what was really going on. Adults can be so disgusting. “The best of both world…oooohh, ooooohhh!”

So what’s doing to happen with girl-next door, wonder-girl, Smiley Miley? We have to wait and see how she handles it. Nobody’s perfect. Sometimes it’s not the mistake but how the celebrity deals with that mistake that provides the greatest lesson to teens and tweens.

You can help too—Stay tuned tomorrow for 8 tips to help parents cope with controversial role models!

Dr. Robyn Silverman (full bio here) is a leading Child and Adolescent Development Specialist with a focus on character education and body/self esteem development during childhood, adolescence, and young adulthood.

We’re proud to have her as part of our Shaping Youth consortium as an ongoing contributor, advisory board member, and guest expert. She also blogs at KMA and the Powerful Parent.  She’s a fabulous resource!

Back in a jiff…meanwhile, if any of you have tips for me for my preteen talk on Thursday in terms of practical ‘take aways’ or issues you’re struggling with (either AS a preteen or as the parent/educator of one!) sound off and let me know how these media messages are landing on you in your world…

p.s. To give you insight into my own preteen angst here on the homefront, my daughter is battling mono with a wild rash reaction from head to toe that mortified her on the body image front even more than the pain/discomfort she’s dealing with…she cried, “I’ll be teased like crazy, I can’t go to school like this!” (she’s referring to the ‘kissing disease’ moniker as much as the spotted amoxycillin puffy hives)

No fun being a preteen sometimes, much less a teenager like Miley at the wise old age of 15…Back soon, thanks for your patience. –Amy

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Comments

  1. For what it is worth, my 12 year old son was first to bring this story to my attention on Friday. As we were on our way to a Boy Scout camping trip, he told me he think[s] that Miley is becoming a train wreck like Britney, Lindsey, and Paris.

    At that point, having not heard of the latest flap, I suggested that her dad and Disney would not likely be pleased, and that it was very possible she could lose her job over the photos.

    Why do people do such stupid things? Don’t they realize everybody watches them?

    I admit I was impressed with his reasoning.

  2. Hi Charlie, nice to hear from you…yes, I’m often torn between ignoring the hype-fest and hullabaloo to focus on ‘bigger issues’ but as I said in this post, it IS part of the ‘bigger picture’ in terms of what’s going haywire in our media/marketing national scheme of things…so if I try to ignore it, it falls into the ‘desensitized’ camp that is part of a larger picture conundrum too…

    I prefer the solutions-based approaches where we can all plop it on the table and use critical thinking skills as ‘teaching moments’ in our lives…whether it’s ‘recovery from mistakes’ or press/media trial by tv, or crash-n-burn personal decisions or reverb and resilience…Today I’ll post Dr. Robyn’s ‘tips for parents/preteens’ post and see how it aligns with my counter-marketing tactics…

  3. kennasmom says

    Amy, was waiting to see what you’d write about this after seeing it on tv yesterday. 🙂 My 12yo saw the bedsheet photo on the Today show before heading out to school, and turned away disgustedly saying “geez, she’s only 15!”.

  4. My 11 year old daughter isnt liking her too much now a days. All she has done is taking pictures of her in a bra and my daughter showed me the picture of when she was mooning the paparazzi’s camera! We always find pics of her all over the internet and magazines with McDonalds french fries! My child says that she is a bad influence to all the other preteens and children that like her! I agree with her, she is becoming a wreck like Lindsey Lohan, Brittany Spears,& Jaimie Lynn Spears!

  5. MY 10 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER HAS BEEN DRESSING JUST LIKE HER! SHE PUT NUDE PICTURES OF HERSELF ON THE INTERNET SHE HAS VERY BIG BOOBS AND I GOT VERY CONSERNED!

  6. IT WAS AWFUL!

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