When It’s Not Hip To Be Square: Sexist Spongebob & Burger Shots

April 17, 2009 “Booty is booty?” I say give BK’s agency a boot in the backside out the door for this one…

I’ve been trying NOT to cover this ad absurdity to avoid the media baiting and instead quietly took my views to Nickelodeon & Burger King via the CCFC sound off campaign here…but BK just keeps coming up with gaffe-a-minute badvertising, so I’ve gotta broil ’em a tad…

When ‘parental outcry types’ include industry pros (I’m a ‘given’ I’m referring to AdFreak and BrandFreak) then maybe business is finally capable of beginning to draw some lines in the sand? Don’t hold your breath though…Cash is still ‘king’ in burger wars selling ‘value’ without values.

No sooner had I ear-marked the ‘BK Burger Shots’ campaign (marketed in a six pack no less to be edgy) as blog fodder to run past the Marin Institute for its wink and nod to binge drinking…than I remembered their :30 ad of sexist stereotypes of women cooing over the baby burgers in ‘awww’ moments...

Burger King didn’t even make it into my ‘flame this whopper’ queue when they freakin’ did it AGAIN in yet ANOTHER shock schlock tactic using kids’ popular cartoon icon Spongebob to market a shake your booty hip-hop-square-butts KIDS meal. (video after the jump)

Sheesh. This is after the BK racial stereotypes ads were pulled due to complaints in Mexico City, so clearly misogyny is the last bastion of bad behavior…It appears blatantly selling sexist booty-burger-meat-packing on the backsides of females continues to make the airwaves.

Yep, I’d say Burger King wins the offensive corporate conduct award from Shaping Youth for incessantly pounding sleazy branding into kids brains, devolving our junk food culture to a new smarmy low.

It’s just so hard to choose WHICH moronic BK message is most worthy of the depravity of pop culture toxic tipping point award…

Shall we go for racist stereotypes, or positioning a cartoon sponge eyeballing girls’ keisters like a perv (degrading, insulting, lecherous and just plain morally bankrupt) or their binge drinking package-terminology (pop ‘em and you’re good to go’ kiddies) or the trashing of hip-hop via lame hoochie-mama rap narration,

“Swimmin’ through the seaweed tangles—is a butt with sharp right angles…Now, Burger King wants me to seal the deal – 99 cents get a toy and a Kid’s Meal!”

So hard to decide which absurdity to tackle first!

Sexualizing females to hawk Burger King Kids Meals—or anything else—to children is a raunchy strategy, since it’s clearly dollar driven profiteering attempting to go for the publicity hype of ‘hoping to outrage’ and gain press in the short run rather than see the long term harmful reverb of body objectification…(a reason I dodged posting, since it’ll be the usual ‘us vs. them’ spin, which is tediously boring)…Still:

When edgy industry guys even find “…It’s hard to get past the inherent creepiness pouring forth from this unholy union” of  “The Burger King measuring women’s butts while Sir Mix-a-Lot raps about wanting to “get with” SpongeBob SquarePants…then it seems agency Crispin Porter’s ‘anything goes’ fun fest is finally falling flat. Pardon the pun, but…

Could it be…we’ve FINALLY hit ‘bikini bottom’ in the sea of sexist sludge?

From a sheer branding 101 perspective, SpongeBob SquarePants would seem to be a more intuitive marketing ally with the square patty of Wendy’s if they were trying to team up for junk food…but then, let’s see…

Didn’t industry self-rein zealots promise to stop promoting junk food via licensed cartoon characters overall?

Or was that just Nickelodeon agreeing to curb their ad slate to younger kids?

Hmn. Neither one happened…so they lied either way.

Not that it surprises, since empty nods from fast food eateries attempting to ‘shape up’ and offer ‘healthier options,’ is nothing short of ‘wellness washing’ when it comes to most of the purveyors of kids’ meals…As for the ‘healthier options’ it IS true they show a picture of Hershey’s  milk (emphasis on the chocolate bar in the logo) and Kraft macaroni and cheese “with calcium and vitamin D!” but what’s PARTICULARLY offensive to me is the mixed messaging with the BK Positive Steps (SM) nutrition program…Which I really, REALLY wanted to believe after reading the advances in this Institute of Medicine presentation.

Alas…the marketing side of me knew better.

I mean, c’mon, ‘The King’ brought us the ‘quad stacker’ and other heart-stopping cloggers boldly and proudly flying the individual choice/free agency flag for people’s right to over-consume, so let’s keep our branding straight, shall we?

But just to give them the benefit of the doubt, en route to L.A. I decided to rest-stop at Burger King and check out the promos myself…

I’d heard they were offering fat free milk and apple sticks that look like fries, and it’s always nice to have healthier choices on the road in blow-n-go pit stop mode…

…So I ditched my BK boycott in the name of market research and the conversation went like this:

“I’ll have this healthier kids meal you’ve got here…”

(I pointed to a tent card display of a BK Positive Steps ‘fresh apples cut like fries and a box of apple juice alongside two ‘burger shots’ with a Spongebob toy) …

Then I said,

“But you can keep your toy, it’s just for me.”

“Ok, what drink would you like?”
“Um, the apple juice, like it shows.”
“Ok, what side would you like?”
“The apple sticks, like it shows.”
“Ok, so one BK kids meal with the apple options…Would you like any fries or a shake with that?”

Not kidding. Oh…And they put the toy in the meal anyway.

As I hunted through my sponge bag, I noted the apples came with a condiment packet of caramel sauce, they’re not packaged like fries, but in a clever plastic ‘browning protection’ bag touting,

“Made from fresh peeled apples! Fun fry shape” which of course includes a bounty of promos to go to “Look for codes on TOYS! For more fun on ClubBK.com” —you can ‘create your own BK online character, join in cool activities and get free food for your birthday.’

There’s a full color activity sheet of cross-promos touting the ‘Spongebob vs. The Big One’ on Nickelodeon (evidently tonight, April 17?) and the usual ‘collect ‘em all’ clutter consumption of every SB variation…

Yep. Same ol’ same ol’…

Good news? There was thankfully no cross-promotion of the creepy King or the square butts campaign in the bag… Yet.

As for PR tripe, count on BK chalking up the ‘squarebutts’ offensiveness to being meant for adults (it wasn’t ON the Kids Meal bag after all; it was only on prime time and during the NCAA playoffs)…

They’ll predictably also say the “baby burger shots” are not meant to normalize peer attention coups over ‘baby bumps’ or teen binge-drinking as a two-fer (riiiiight, and ABC Family’s Secret Life and Greek have no influence on kids either, eh?)…BK is just trying to do their part and ‘think small’ like those cute  ‘sliders’ right?

Fair enough…then they wouldn’t be giving us whiplash with ‘upsize it’  bannered atop the loudspeaker in the drive through lane…And of course, if you THINK you’re ordering a small or healthy version of ANYthing, be aware that there are built-in defaults from the vendor side, and as I already mentioned, just asking for the picture doesn’t get you the picture…

This really stinks if you’re in a car with kids hoping to order by number in no questions asked mode.

By reciting the options in upsell/tradeout mode, they automatically put pester power into play, with wee ones squealing ‘puhleeeeeze’ when asked if they want fries or a shake…So don’t tell me BK is doing “family friendly” things for busy parents on the go. Bah.

Ahem, act now to help put a stop to this stuff…I’m vehemently anti-censorship but irked and fatigued by the lack of industry common sense spewing the ongoing crass, mind pollution that passes under the guise of  ”free speech.’  We’re ALL subjected to the ambient fallout when objectification permeates pop culture at regular intervals…and it’s nothing you can ‘turn off’ either.

So, congrats Burger King for dredging the depths to sink to a new low in the cesspool of badvertising: BK wins our ‘biggest loser’ award for consistency in tasteless tactics and toxic ethics.

Edging up on their square butts for shock schlock is trashy contender #2… Quiznos marketing “Toasty Torpedos” with sultry voices and crass tagline “put it in me” to compete in the value-meal sexualized innuendo category…

Supposedly Quiznos is attempting to undercut Subway’s $5 foot long subs and genuine marketing of healthier options…by positioning a dollar cheaper with their food porn.

Why not support Subway, for their wholesome attempts to be nutritionally forthcoming and transparent so we can make up our own minds, hit BK and Quiznos in the wallet by taking your business elsewhere…

And sound off against this tacky pop culture pollution pervasively blanketing kids’ airspace.

We’re all choking on the fumes already, and we need more than just ‘junk food offsets.’

The price we pay to pollute our culture will ultimately cost us all.

Any more dumb marketing ideas that should be flame-broiled?

Send ’em our way…

In fact…maybe we should do a contest of ‘best and worst picks’ for media and marketing’s influence on kids!!

What do YOU think?

Shall we? Fire away!

SpongeBob SquareButts Burger King

Visual Credits: Spongebob lead photo the mishmash.com